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A blink is the fastest thing I know of". Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of". The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. Turning to the fourth man, he posed the question. But, before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I'd crapped in my pants!

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. She screamed at him "You're a pig! A pig with Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked honour! How dare you do this to me! I'm your faithful wife! She was about to storm off, when her husband stopped her with these words "Wait a minute, let me at least explain what happened! I felt sorry for her, so I brought her home. She was hungry, so I made her a meal from the roast beef you thought was too fattening.

Her sandals were torn so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they La buena dieta gone out of Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked. She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I got you for your birthday that you don't wear because the colours don't suit you.

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Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you liked before your sister bought the same pair. Then, as she was about to leave the house, she turned to me and said pleadingly 'Please, please, is there anything ELSE your wife doesn't use anymore? A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree.

Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked he Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked shot the arrows plumb in the centre of all the targets. I shot them from a hundred paces.

I swear it by all that I hold holy".

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A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realised it yet. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. You bought the groceries, washed the Mature nudes, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner". Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Gotta get married in a church. An appliance designed to eat socks. The last two minutes of a football game. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked make a purchase. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician". Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked

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Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. You get Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus On your lips, colouring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.

On his collar, colouring only a tramp would wear! PARK park v. Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and feel each other up". After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilisers".

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Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked come off if you try to remove it. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church.

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Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc. Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence.

This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says "Hey, don't you know who I am?

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Satan says "Well, aren't you afraid of me? Satan, perturbed, asks "And why aren't you afraid of me? For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well.

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As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled "Up Nuts" and the patients complied by Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked up. After the anthem, he yelled "Down Nuts" Adelgazar 20 kilos they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled "Cheer Nuts" They all broke out into applause and cheered.

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling. Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his missing assistant, the doctor asked:" What in the world happened? A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best-looking girl in the place, he retires to a large Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks the madam "How much do I owe you?

She then pulls two hundred dollars out of a purse and gives it to him. She fends off all his attempts for an explanation.

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Naturally, the man returns the following evening. He gets the same treatment, and is again given two hundred dollars. The third night he does the same thing, but when he sees the madam, she asks him for three hundred dollars.

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The second night you gave two hundred dollars. Now you want me to pay you three hundred? An American, A Canadian and a Japanese were stranded in a deserted island in middle of nowhere.

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They understood that until rescues arrived, they will need to work together in order to stay alive on the island. So they decided to divide up the tasks. The American points to the Canadian and says "You will be in charge of building and maintaining a fire".

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The Canadian nods. Then he points to the Japanese and says "You will be in charge of supplies". The Japanese nods. By sunset, the American has built this beautiful sturdy shelter, enough for 3 plus more. The Canadian created a big steady camp fire all ready to cook whatever Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked got.

But the Japanese is nowhere to be found.

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After a few more hours, night falls and there were still no signs of the Japanese. They got worried Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked decided to go into the forest to look for him.

They inch slowly towards the forest with caution because they don't know what wild beasts roam at night. All the SFW stuff you see on Orsm flows there in between regular 3-day bans.


Imagine a continuous 20 year orgasm and that's the archives. Until next time be good, stay off the chems and fuck PETA, eat meat. Welcome to toxic masculinity femininity people.

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Having a good Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked. There have been a couple of highlights. The main of which was the fuckwit garbage truck guy spilling the contents of our overloaded bin not once but twice and then watching him pick it all up. Obviously taking pleasure in watching him do this makes me sound like a piece of shit but he's a fuckwit so its okay. A few months back we needed our bin re-emptied because the contents didn't all come out. I called the council, he came back to do it, and left the bin down the street, over the road on its side.

Some sort of "Fuck you for making me come back". Another time he tried to fight our neighbour. Next, Facebook put me in jail [for posting this on the Orsm FB page ], then busted me Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked something I posted weeks ago.

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For some reason getting busted the second time eased some of the restrictions on what I can do whilst in jail. The lesson here is don't do one thing wrong, do several. Alright dudes that's enough pollywaffle.

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This update is behemoth. No shit - whittled down almost a video clips to the 80 or some you are about to devour.

Everything else I mean talked, I uttered mistakenly. I replied "Have you ever heard of a 'Freudian slip' it's when you say one thing and mean I fucked your mother I mean another".

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He called her into his office Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked said "You graduated university and I need some help. As he walked to the door she yelled "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death". He turned around and said "So, you want me to stay? When I came out, he looked at me and said "Any change?

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They got on either end of the couch and struggled until they were exhausted, but the couch wouldn't budge. A frustrated voice came from the other side of the couch: "In?! What did I tell you? That's one of the largest banks in the country! She'll learn in a hurry". And if you had five dollars, would you give me one? Just Gross.

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Still Busty Pope Francis said that married people should have more kids. When asked for comment, married people Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked the Pope should have a kid and then get back to us".

One lady says "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down".

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The second lady says "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!

Then with a startled look on her face, she asks "Who's there? After a few Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked of looking at the merchandise, the butcher asks him if he would like to place an order. The gay guy says yes, and orders 5 pounds of salami.


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The butcher asks him if he would like that sliced. The gay guy replied "What, does my asshole look like a piggybank?

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Four old guys are walking down a street. They turn a corner and see a sign that says:. They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this Is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room "Come on in and let me pour one for you.

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What'll it be, gentlemen? In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis and says "That'll be 10 cents each, please". They can't believe their good luck.

They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying "That's 40 cents, please".

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They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally, one of the men couldn't stand it any longer and asks the bartender "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece? I'm a retired tailor and always wanted to own a bar.

Every drink costs a dime - wine, liquor, beer, all the same". That's quite a story" says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.

One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender "What's with them? The bartender says "Oh, them They're waiting for happy hour! The father has been out of a job for over a year, they have five kids at home with barely any food to eat. The worst part is, that they Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked about to kicked out of the house and they will be left on the streets without a roof over their heads!

Why don't you come inside and we'll talk about it a little more? A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him.

The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked decided to let him down easy.

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Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy! The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation. The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in France, and after his quick conversation, he said "Yes, yes, I Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked, I build!

The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to. A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands.

After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said "Okay okay okay, I cut, I cut! A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father "How does this boat Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked "How do fish breath underwater? A little later the boy asked his father "Why is the sky blue? Finally, the boy asked his father "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?

Three Labrador retrievers, one brown, one yellow and one black, were sitting in the vet's waiting room when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said "So why are you here? I piss on everything - the sofa, the curtains, the perdiendo peso, the kids.

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But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed". The Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked lab said "So what is the vet going to do? The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked "Why are you here?

I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went Adelgazar 10 kilos the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch". The dejected yellow lab said. Stepmom needs help with her bikini. Klesh13 - 7. I fuck my aunt in the Video of amateur sturdy built wife fucked, she received my bit like never, young fuck her aunt in the evening, a hot night for auntie sele.

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